The first time I tried coaching someone, I hardly made a connection. We didn’t quite have it. His face was rather blank the
whole time, as if he was sleeping with his eyes wide open. The only thing he
had to say when we finished was, "where did you get your material".
I'm not sure what he meant by that but my hope is that over time, my
communication skills and how I connect would get better.
I’ve got a list of nine things from one of John Maxwell's
books that I carry with me wherever I go 'coz I find it very helpful. People
make a connection with you when they see or can relate with the following:
1) Your personal sacrifice or sufferings
2) You identify with their needs
3) Your integrity and trustworthiness
4) Your experience and credibility
5) Your vulnerability and transparency
6) Your wisdom and insight
7) Your humility and meekness
8) Your abilities and expertise
9) Your courage and conviction
Have all nine and you're sure to bring your connection from “I know
him” to “he’s my friend” level of familiarity.
But if you want to take it even
further, to “he’s my best-friend” kind of closeness, he needs to see you not
just as a normal human being like him but also as someone whose life revolves
around another Person - the One who walks with you in your sufferings, who identifies
with your needs, who enables you to live a life of utmost integrity, with whom
you can be vulnerable and transparent, who gives you wisdom and insight, whose
grace keeps you humble, who gives you the abilities and expertise and who's the
source of your courage and conviction.
